My friend left my daughter ALONE to go to the tanning salon?

I've known my friend for about 6 months now. We don't have a whole lot in common, but I always thought she was responsible.


She is a single mother to three children that are 9, 7, and 3 years old. Her 9 year old daughter asked my 8 year old daughter if she wanted to sleep over. My friend said it was perfectly fine by her, so I left my daughter there.


I thought everything went fine during the sleepover. It wasn't until recently (a few weeks later) that my daughter casually dropped a bomb on me.


My friend went to the tanning salon for a few hours and left her children and my daughter alone at her house. This really shocked me. How can you leave a 9,8, and 7 year old in charge of a 3 year old while you are out getting a tan? If something had happened to any of them (someone got hurt, started a fire, etc.) I doubt any of them would have known how to handle it.


I've never left my daughter alone in her entire life. I was pretty ticked off that my friend would make that decision for me. I think it was completely out of line and extremely irresponsible of her especially when I trusted her to take care of my child. It is one thing if she wants to leave her own kids alone, but don't leave mine alone if you agreed to be in charge of her.


I haven't said anything to my friend yet about the situation. But the more I think about it, the angrier I get. I'm not even sure that I want to be friends with her anymore.


She has broken my trust and has made me question her parenting abilities. Part of me wants to just break off the friendship while the other part wants to give her another chance.


As a parent, what would you do in the situation? Do you think it is enough to tell her that what I think she did was wrong? Or would you not be able to forgive her?


Thanks!


P.S. I already made the decision that my daughter is not staying over there without my supervision regardless of whatever I choose.My friend left my daughter ALONE to go to the tanning salon?
It sounds to me like your mind is already made up. This irresponsible woman makes you mad- and rightly so! If anyone had ever left my daughter in that dangerous situation I would have called her up and told her to stay the HELL away from my kids and called CPS. I would break off the friendship immediately. Being friends with someone like that is just asking for trouble.





***az_mommm: would it have been a ';miniscule thing to get worked up over'; if her daughter had been assaulted, or kidnapped, killed in a fire, or stuck in a situation where one of the younger children needed medical attention? You do NOT leave children home alone, ever. this is not a miniscule thing***My friend left my daughter ALONE to go to the tanning salon?
Omg ... to go tanning??? how irresponsible! I'm kind of a big mouth, I would end up saying something to her. I would also tell her 9 year old that if she is ever left in the house alone again to call me.
I agree with you, she should not have done that it is very irresponsible and if anyone was to find out she was doing that she would probably get her children taken away from her. I would confront her about this.
Wow! I would definitely mention it to your friend and let her know that this is pretty dangerous for her children. Some parents just don't think! You have every reason to question her parenting ability.





You certainly have control of your own child and I would NEVER allow my child over to her house again....unless I were there as well.





**az-mommm** Are you serious? No big deal? Dear God what are YOU thinking? I certainly question YOUR parenting ability if you actually believe this is not a big deal! C'mom!
i would call child services really because if she can leave a friend's daughter alone without supervision for maybe 2 hours just try to guess how many times she has left her own kids alone and who knows for how many hours
this is totally irresponsible behaviour. I would sever the friendship and only tell her why if she asks. Try to encourage your daughter to make new friends.
Honestly, at this point the real issue is protecting HER children. If she left them alone when your child was there, it must be something that is pretty common in that home. It is not appropriate at all to leave children that age alone for any length of time, and particularly they should NOT be left to care for younger kids. Call the Child Protective Services immediately.





I know that sounds harsh, but one of these days something bad is going to happen if the situation is not corrected. Imagine how you would feel if the house burned down and those children died while their mother was out messing around...and you could have prevented it.
I would be absolutely furious too! Definitely have a talk with her and explain that you are not okay with what happened. What she did was very neglectful...and she extended that to your child without your knowledge! I would have just assumed as well that no mother would leave her own children alone like that, let alone mine! I'd let it be known that the kids are invited to your house and just turn down all further invites from them. That is so not okay. Anything could have happened to those kids!
Well the P.S goes without saying. that's really irresponsible. Now im NOT saying your daughter is a lier( its just that 8 years old don't have a great concept of time) but in the interest of fairness when bringing the subject up with your friend just say ';___(daughters name) told me....'; and calmly restate her story. then give her a chance to explain. tell her that you don't want to believe it but you had to ask to en-shore your daughters safety and all that.
I would definitely confront her about it and probably cut off the friendship. That shows extremely poor judgment and anything could have happened. Anything still CAN happen if she continues with such risky behavior with her own children, sad to say. You might even go so far as to call Children's Services on her, because honestly, it could come down to a life or death situation involving her children.





Seriously - if you continue the friendship, no more unsupervised visits. I don't know how I would do it, though, because I'd be worried sick about her own kids and their safety.
Yep. Have had this happen by a mother I trusted. She left my 9 year old (at the time) and her friend while she went to the store. I was really upset. Especially because I felt like since I'm a sahm anyway- the girls could have just as easily came to my house and they wouldn't have to be left alone.


I talked to the mom about it. She apologized and said she always leaves her daughter and assumed everyone did, at that age.


I didn't push the issue with her but my daughter can't go there anymore. Instead the girl comes to our house.





Oh and my husband was just absolutely livid. He was ready to call the mom and just give her a piece of his mind. I wouldn't let him do it, though. I didn't want to cause problems between my daughter and her friend. Basically, after I spoke with her, I completely let the issue slide (all the while letting my daughter know she should call me if something like that ever happens again).


Just let the girl come to your house.
Wow! I have a 7, 5, and 3 year old and never in my life would I dream of leaving my 7 year old home alone with her sisters! That is wrong. And if she felt the need to go tanning she should have done the right thing and called you. I agree I would confront her about this, I would do it in a decent way though. Just simply stating the facts and the what if's could be enough! She doesn't sound very responsible!!
Wow, blow things out of proportion much?





I would hate to have you for a friend... it would suck to know you could hold so much animosity without even talking to me about things, as a friend should.





I think if she ever really was your friend you should bring it up casually with her. Tell her in a loving way that it really bothered you that it happened and you just wanted to talk to her about it to ensure it won't happen again. Let her know you understand she feels okay with her children being home alone, but your daughter has never dealt with that and you don't think she is ready to handle everything that could go wrong.





And in the meantime figure out who or why you are really so upset, because this is much to miniscule to be so worked up over it.